The Sacred Covenant

Almost 11 months ago on July 7, 2012, I married my best friend, Nathan Boleen.  It was a fabulous event and celebration.  In that ceremony we committed our marriage to Christ and committed our lives to love one another every day that God gives us.

I saw the wedding as a moment for my husband and I to invite friends to share with us and to help keep us accountable in our marriage and this journey of marriage.  It was also a moment set aside to celebrate the greatness of who God is and the unexpected journey of my husband and I's relationship.

Throughout these last months since being married, there have been an incredible amount of changes!    I resigned from working with Florida Baptist Children's Homes as a social worker to working at a local yacht club as a server.  I also started graduate school for my Masters in Social Work in the fall of 2012, interning at the local VA, and volunteering with a therapeutic equestrian program for adults and children who have developmental disabilities .  To add to the mix, I'm a new wife!  Nate also had changes from being a bachelor to a husband, moving ..again to a new home, and also moving from one local school to another as a teacher. He also added a second job at a local coffee shop.  Our schedules have been crazy!

To say the least, it has been an adventure that has zoomed by but one in which I have learned discipline and countless other lessons.

I would have to say that the most valuable lesson I have learned and am learning is this paradigm of marriage.  The sacred covenant among three parties-- Christ, Nate, and me.  I have learned that trusting Christ must be enough.  I must have my roots planted in Him. He should be my anchor and hope.

Prayer and praying for my husband is crucial.  I have found that when I love God most, when I pray for my husband and with my husband, and when my eyes are set upon the prize of Christ, there erupts a gentle incense and presence in my marriage.  It is in these moments I am reminded of God's grace and His abundant love.  I am reminded of his forgiveness, his example of love and the definition of love written in 1 Corinthians 13.  I can honestly say that through marriage, I have learned of God's love and His Grace in a way I have never seen before.  It is truly a gift.

When people tell me marriage is difficult, I get it now.  It's a constant fight of selflessness vs. selfishness.  It's this idea that when things don't go the way you want, your selfishness is being beat down and disciplined, if that is the route chosen.  It's then the choice of either going to Christ and resting in his peace and provision for his will and outcome or attempting to follow the road of selfishness and the sin that is so corrupt in yourself.

In the few moments when I have chosen to trust Christ rather than follow my own selfish desires, I have seen God move in my husband's heart.  I have witnessed Christ moving in my heart.  I have experienced a love like the greek Haseed love.  I have also experienced a brokenness from God in order to be built up again in accordance with who He wants me to be.

I say all this to express that in this season of life no matter how busy and crazy it is, I must reflect on the goodness of my Creator and the blessing of marriage he has bestowed upon me.  It is not a burden and I pray a burden is what it never becomes.  It is a sharpening tool and a molding kit in which I learn to submit to my Father in a way I never have before.

I am still learning that in my weakness He is strong.  I am still learning that in my weakness I do not make myself strong but must trust and rest in the stillness of God. He knows best.